It's called "Perspective"

Hi again. This past week-plus of Jacqueline being gone is starting to gnaw at me. I admire her for what she's doing, helping her terminally-ill cousin, and completely understand the need for her presence there in Indianapolis. Nonetheless, I miss her a lot, and will be really happy when she returns to our home and our life. It's been a bit of a "reminder" to me of what life would be like without her in it, and of those 11 years of bachelorhood I had between marriages. And, just like then, I'm surprized at how "gray" it is; not that it's depressing, or bad, just "insignificant". Am I having a good time? Yeah, it's OK, nothing to stand up and cheer about. It's not like I'm wallowing around the house, anxiously counting the minutes till she comes home. Nah, I'm busy, doing stuff, staying active. It's just that the quality of the time passing is diminished by her absence. She adds color to an otherwise gray existence. It's like this: those 11 years are the most significant for being "unremarkable", yeah, I had lots of fun, and there are some memories, but not too many. It's almost like a "gap" in my life, looking back now. Ironically, even though I was single, the main memories of that time concern my daughters, and my time with them, as a single dad with visitation privileges. The memories become more focused after Melissa, then Sage moved into my house. As a single dad, with my daughters there, my life began to get some "color" again. Then, my relationship with Jacqueline started, and it was like a rebirth. My world was filled with color. Maybe it's kind of a corny analogy, but the "adds color to my life" concept is the best way for me to describe how richer my life is with my loved ones around me. I really did have a good time when I was single; I have a vague recollection (grin). Of course, those memories are in black-and-white........